Our Day 18

I had tried my best to train... I have trained as vowed to everyone... Since it was still a long journey to go cause I just recovered from 'dengue' which had made me very very weak indeed... I tried my best but I still can't recover my best performance...

Yesterday, we had our Earth Hour in our room... We closed out the lights the whole day, cause we are not around... At 3pm yesterday, I...I.... fell unconcious on my bed... I think about it today, I think I was too tired... When I opened my eyes, I saw Sakura leaving the room, she left the room, I tried to hold her hand but I just can't reach...

But when I really woke up, I didn't see her at all, maybe I dreamed about her... I missed her too much, too much... I phoned her, she didn't answered the phone... She phoned me back half an hour later...

I asked her where she is she said she was at home... I not quite believe her, but I believe that she won't tell lie...

I believe her...

Our Day 17

I've decided to blog now, anad my blog will be damn short because I'm very very tired as I did my trainings fro a long period... I phoned Sakura, she said she was watching a movie in a cinema... And she is forbidden to use phone there... So I tried to make her sms with me cause I'm physically tired but mentally boring...

She sms'ed with me... It was quite fun to have a conversation like that, as I never had it before... I had a feeling that she isn't in a cinema... I don't know why... Today is a holiday, our coach says 'One day off' for us, he let us relax in every single part of Genting Highland, except for the casino. He said anyone caught in the casino shall be banned from the training...

I am damn tired and so the air here is cool... Very very cool... I sneaked out to the balcony and slept there... I feel it was much better... I hope Sakura had come... At least I'm not that bored~~ I missed her a lot...

Our Day 17

I represented the school Basketball Team for a leadership program... We went to Genting Highland for a hard and hell-like program... We will have to do trainings... Because we are heading for a state-match... Which means our team have great potential in winning and getting MVP's...



I should be there around a week and have sworn will not come back till I've fully trained... But... In all of my thoughts, I missed Sakura a lot... She had given my a lot courage to join this camp... I don't wanna get her dissapointed..



Anyway, I won't give as I said before... I will train until I become a professional player... I've bought a new phone, a W595 just to keep contact with Sakura, my best friend out of all... I feel like we are not just friend, actually I tried to extend our relationship, but eventually failed..

Anyway, she had her lover already. I can't interupt. Otherwise I am the guilty person. I don't want be that. Love a person doesn't mean that I must be with her... Standing beside her, encourage and help her out when she needs is the most important out of all...

Our Day 16

Today, I finally able to watch the most romantic drama throughout world wide... That is the "Heart Of Greed". The actors were great, I don't think any of the other drama could compare with that... That drama was perfect...

The part that has make me very sad and thrilling is when I see one of the most handsome character "Alfred" acted by Raymond Lam involved in a traffic accident, I feel that I was a nice scene when I saw the car flew through the air... And even at the border of his life, he manage to give his last information of a case to his girlfriend which is Seung Zoi Sam, acted by Linda Chung... The girl didn't even know that Alfred had almost got the end of his life...

At last when the girl knew about it, it was too late cause the handsome guy is dead... After watching that episode, I thought about what the old man said to me... I feel like I'm Alfred, and Sakura is like Linda Chung, we have fate but didn't have luck to be together...

Later on, I recieved a phone call from Sakura, we chat for a long while... I paused for a moment and ask the most important question in my life... I asked her what is the reaction if I died... She told me not to think negatively, life is un-predictable... Life can't be predicted, so she said if I think positively, then I will live longer... But I have an opposite thinking... Because I can feel my days are numbered... It is true...

Our Day 15

Today, I've never heard from her anymore... I never want to hear from her as I don't her to be in trouble... As indeed, I went to school and tried to avoid her every time I see her... I feel weird why Howard isn't with her...?? I asked Howard, he told me that she did call him yesterday, they were having sweet talks... I congratulated him and told him not to betray her or else we would not be a friend anymore...

He promised me, I believe in him, hoping he could give Sakura a good life... I hope he do as what I say... Of course, I didn't believe fully... He could sell me as dummy anytime and anywhere...

When I reached home, I heard my phone ringing... I answered the phone... Sakura was on the line...... I greeted her merrily, she told me that she was very happy yesterday cause she was dated by Howard after she reached home... My heart feel sank, I, I, wish I didn't have such destiny... If wouldn't my destiny, I would have been with her yesterday... I couldn't believe that I will have such life...

Maybe my wish to the comet came true... I may not see her everyday, but at least listen to her sweet voice....

Our Day 14

I am back to usual life after today, immeadiate at the entrance of the hospital, I saw an old man. He was starring at me as if he needs help... I went forward to him and offer to help. But instead he told me that I was the one who are in trouble and need help, how ridiculous!! He told me that my fate is to die at young age and I will have a tragic death involving a car, a lorry and a person... I laughed at him... Because I don't believe... He try to convinced me by telling me that there will be an accident on the road...

Hey, stop it..!! It is a curse or what?? Suddenly, a loud bang was heard in a distance... My face turn pale... He told me that my destiny is that I will never get the person I loved longly, and even if I get her, she may suffer... because... of me....

The moment I heard that, I thought of Sakura...Someone greeted friendly to me... I knew it was Sakura... I tried to overcome my feelings of fear and said hi!! My face were pale, her was pale'r... Wonder what... she told me that she was having a relationship with Howard... My best friend, I pause for a moment... I ... I... thought about our happy days together... Lastly, I remember what the old man said to me... And... I response her as if I'm happy... Actually I was about to propose my feelings to her... Anyway, I love her too much until I rather die than giving her trouble...

Our Day 13

In the hospital, I was free to walk around and I started to blog as usual... She came to visit me at 2pm because that was the time when she is free. She walked in as usual, I meant her expressions were same it was like she cried everyday... I do not know what to say... But we went to the cafeteria downstairs to and had a cup of coffee, then we started to talk...

She said that a lot of my classmates send their regards to me, but I don't think this is what she wanted to say earlier...

She looks so deep depressed, and sad everyday... But that is also why she is so special I think so...

Our Day 12

Luckily the doctor let me used my laptop in he ward. I had a dengue fever, not a serius one. But the doctor just don't let me get out, he said I need rest and be taken cared of. She come to visit me. I was happy, but also sorry... Cause I knew she cried as I saw her eyes were red... How terrible...

I tried to joke with her, but she didn't give in. She make me promise her not to leave her anytime. I made a promise with her. I told her it was just a small matter because it wasn't that serius. She told me instead, that, her mother died because of dengue....

Our Day 11

We are back to Malaysia now, and I felt days in Taiwan was better. Life in Taiwan was fun and relaxing. Man, I was so, so, so fun or I should say good... Today, I wasn't feeling well; I don't think anything special will happen to day... Yesterday night was awesome...!!

We sat on a flat ground, and saw a comet flew past. I made a wish, I hope I could see her everyday...

Our Day 9&10

These days we went for our school excursions. We went to a park where there are fruits and a lot of other nice views in Taiwan. We accomodated in a 5-star hotel, it was nice though.

But the nicest was her, her room was just the opposite of mine. I saw her everytime I go out... At late night, I decide to go out for a walk in the park, I saw her also!! We walked together, to the nicest park in Taiwan, stars in Taiwan was way brighter and nicer. Or maybe she is beside me, that is the main reason I think...

That was the nicest night I've ever experienced, and also the first time I walked out with a girl like this...

"Stars are bright, if the star beside you are brighter..."

Our Day 8

Haiz, I can't see and meet her for few days... I was outstation you know... But luckily I get to chat with her online. I am just back to blogging. Actually it is fun outstation, I went to Singapore. I got her a chain... A nice one, I hope she will like it you know, it didn't cost expensive, in fact, it is just a present that suits her a lot, I would have bought it even it costs more...


"Love can't be calculated by money"

Our Day 2

She was peeping at me all time. I noticed that. I tried to ignore her as she is my best friend's lover, but, but I couldn't. She peeped me again, but this time the teacher caught her in sight. Our teacher scolded her. How heart-less am I, to let her been scold by teacher.

I felt sudden heart-break... But during recess, I walked towards her and appologized. She acted not knowing what has happened. I knew that, I knew it already, but she was still trying to ignore me.

I really felt sorry for her.

"Love is blind" thats what I've learnt

Our Day 1

I met her again, she smiled at last, I use to see anger, frustating in her face. But today I knew she was happy. And I realize that she might be in a good mood.

I...I...I, nothing... Actually... I am... her... NOTHING.... Haiz, nvr mind then, I will wish her anyway. I am very very impressed in her. I very admire her in every aspect, for real. I... I... actually feel that she is my best friend and understood my feelings, but I know as well a lot of people can't do that cause, they, they just don't have it... Yes, the sense...!!

Anyway, I made this blog to record everything till the day I felt life is meaningless.... Then I will read this to replenish myself....

"I won't give up, not till I shed my last drop of blood..."