Sakura... Where Are You!!

Today, I was very very down and dissapointed... Because I thought I saw Sakura in a cab, I chased her for a few streets. I saw her in a cab, I think she migrated to London, maybe. Or maybe we are now in the same school.

Studying medicine is a good road for such a clever person, besides her, I don't think I have such a competitor. I tried to comfort myself so that I think less about her. But I think it failed...

My sickness seems to get more and more serious just as I thought it would. I don't think there are any medication for this sickness... Just that I hope Sakura never finds out...

Besides, HF isn't a problem that I had a limited life but I won't know, won't know when I will sleep and never get awaken...

Insufficient Love - Raymond Lam

I sat around the London chairs, having a look at the London's view... But my heart is thinking a Malaysian girl... I don't think I wanna state but thats fact... I think, I hope she recovers as soon as possible... I don't want to see her, as I know, it will be irresistable if I see her again, I may love her, or make her hate me more...

My friends send me an email regarding a song... Insufficient love... I think that suits me a lot... I shed my tears... As I listen to the song and watched the video... I know I must be a character inside... Just I don't know who it is...

I regret for my actions... I know, my..my sickness may just ended up let her suffer... On the other thought, I think I should say sorry, say sorry before I leave...

No. 105th day without her...

First day of holiday, feeling extremely screwed up, one and a half month, besides teaching tuition and hanging out with friends, I suddenly felt sorry for a person that I hurt time ago... Depressed is the word that could describe my feelings now. No one will undergo this type of feeling I think.

I despite her feelings and told her the worst words that she had ever heard. I think her heart still burn as she remember the words. I wanted to see gher again. I knew she may not have realised that it was a lie. I hope she doesn't, forever...!!

I am now in London, futhering my studies in a university. I never thought that H1N1 in Malaysia was so serious, otherwise I might have went back. I was held back. My thought to rewrite the blog was when I thought about Malaysia... I trully remember what Sakura and I went through before. I decided to rewrite a fortune and a relationship that I had gave up once.

I regret, trully regret... Sorry, Sakura...

Today is a day I treasured

Today, I woke up from my short term koma... I don't remember everything that happened... All I know was my mum and dad... After all all my memories are just blind...

Thanks to blogger.com, and because of this I've my memories recovered after I read what I wrote... Really appreciate a lot... When I woke up, I saw Sakura at my side... But I seem to notice and knowing it was her... I don't think I know who the hell is her... She keep on crying and ran out to call doctor, I thought she was a nurse... Then,the doctor asked me what had happened, I told him that I don't know... I don't seem to recall...

Sakura hold my hand and asked me who is her... I don't know too... (how embarasing, right?) And she told me that she loved and helped me a lot... But that time, I still don't know... She told me about what happened in between both of us... I ignored her, she left with sore face... Until I use the Internet at home and surf the net and the front page it was my blog... I read through out and I remembered everything...

I was involved in a car accident, on Friday. The car crashed another car and overflipped... In the bus, I was the few person who was still conscious... We helped the other victims and out of the bus. Unfortunately, when I was rescue'ing the driver, the car tank went leaking!!! I got too nervous but managed to save him, the explosion drove me off the road and sat aside, half dead...

After that I was sent to hospital, Sakura was the only person that was there, others was on treatment... She accompanied me for 3days 2night, no rest... I think I owe her too too much... My friends were all okay, except me... They had their competition lost... Because of me I think... They were all thinking about me during the match...

It was okay, I'm not going to be angry with them... Cause I know this my fault... After that, I sms Sakura telling her this:

"I am well thank for caring"

Our Day 21

Soaring in the air just to recover the forgotten memory... Actually what is love, I am wandering around for the answer... I really wanted to know why God created us, to love each other... And to seek for the beloved ones, we will have to suffer and may even cost our lifes...

Does it mean that God wanted to play us, but when you meet your other half, you will feel there are nothing that is more important than that...

I've trained these a few days... I feel weird every single day... I thought I saw Sakura, but it was just an illusion I think... I missed her a lot... Lol, anyway, I've got all my exam results, it wasn't so good as thought, but at least satisfying...

Today is a tiring day, however our training is going to end by this Friday, two more days to go! Hoping we will win by that time... Tsubasa Team is going to soar in the skies once more... To recover the glory that had been lost for a while...

Our Day 18

I had tried my best to train... I have trained as vowed to everyone... Since it was still a long journey to go cause I just recovered from 'dengue' which had made me very very weak indeed... I tried my best but I still can't recover my best performance...

Yesterday, we had our Earth Hour in our room... We closed out the lights the whole day, cause we are not around... At 3pm yesterday, I...I.... fell unconcious on my bed... I think about it today, I think I was too tired... When I opened my eyes, I saw Sakura leaving the room, she left the room, I tried to hold her hand but I just can't reach...

But when I really woke up, I didn't see her at all, maybe I dreamed about her... I missed her too much, too much... I phoned her, she didn't answered the phone... She phoned me back half an hour later...

I asked her where she is she said she was at home... I not quite believe her, but I believe that she won't tell lie...

I believe her...

Our Day 17

I've decided to blog now, anad my blog will be damn short because I'm very very tired as I did my trainings fro a long period... I phoned Sakura, she said she was watching a movie in a cinema... And she is forbidden to use phone there... So I tried to make her sms with me cause I'm physically tired but mentally boring...

She sms'ed with me... It was quite fun to have a conversation like that, as I never had it before... I had a feeling that she isn't in a cinema... I don't know why... Today is a holiday, our coach says 'One day off' for us, he let us relax in every single part of Genting Highland, except for the casino. He said anyone caught in the casino shall be banned from the training...

I am damn tired and so the air here is cool... Very very cool... I sneaked out to the balcony and slept there... I feel it was much better... I hope Sakura had come... At least I'm not that bored~~ I missed her a lot...